One who has found a girlfriend and feels like she is the one and only person for his whole life will question himself about marriage one day. What do you think about marriage? Does your partner share the same emotions? If a formal union is part of the life plans of both partners, congratulations! Is the choice of the wedding date the only thing that remains? Let’s find out when it’s the right time for marriage.
Scientists researching relationships between men and women ask the same questions:
- How to get a girlfriend?
- How long should you be friends before marriage?
- How long does it take to meet to get married and not regret it? After two years of relationship or after 5?
- What reasons are strong enough for a wait?
To be in a relationship means to immerse yourself in your partner’s inner world, eventually having a feeling that you are made for each other. It is not clear who and when should decide that you and your girlfriend are ready for the next step and make the most important decision about marriage.
There was a study that researched the questions about various aspects of marriage, engagement and dating. And although the goal was to research the family values of society, the factors influencing the likelihood of a family breakdown in the future were also touched upon. It turned out that it is better to date for a couple of years before the wedding, although the indicated time frame is by no means a strict recommendation.
Age and time matter
The time that a man and a woman spend to get to know each other better is calculated in each couple differently. Lovers who met at 21 are different from those who started dating at 31 and have completely different circumstances from the 41-year-old couple.
Some fall in love as soon as they get to know each other, while others hang out or were friends for years before they started dating.
There are some clear signs that reveal that a girl has a boyfriend and vice versa. People change and evolve together.
But the very fact that the future husband is perceived as a close friend reduces the likelihood of marriage breakdown by 50%. Moreover, the subjective judgment that a person is familiar to you does not depend on the actual time spent together as a couple.
The conclusions are simple. Instead of focusing only on the time that you are dating your match, it is helpful to consider other factors of mutual readiness that are vital for a happy marriage.
After all, it’s one thing to meet once a week to go to the movies together, and it’s a totally different case to live under one roof, sharing responsibilities and pleasure.
Questions to consider before making or accepting a marriage proposal
Are you in love and want to get engaged with your girlfriend? First, try to answer the questions we have listed below. It’s not just the time you were dating your girlfriend before the wedding that will have an impact on the strength of your marriage. There are a number of other significant factors that you should consider. Let’s check them out.
1. Relationship reload
Your wedding will be fabulous. But there will be no magic wand among the gifts that will transform the unstable, unhealthy relationship into a happy and long-lasting marriage. This is the main reason for the sharp decline in family life satisfaction during the first two years. If you feel like your wedding will revive a fading love, it will only result in the frustration of the husband and his wife.
2. Knowing your partner
One of the problems that undermine a seemingly successful marriage is the case when one of the partners learns about new unexpected facts about the spouse. Ask in advance about your girlfriend’s main priorities and values in life.
How does she feel about money? How many kids does she want to have? By clarifying these details before marriage, it is possible to eliminate the causes of the common conflicts in your family in the future.
Try to find out everything you can. Start with simply trying to pick a good movie for a date night.
3. Expectation of happiness
Recent research has shown that the expectation of future satisfaction leads to hard work in the present. A beautiful picture of a happy family in the subconscious mind sets you up for positive action, ultimately reducing the risks of divorce.
In other words, you should not belittle the value of your ideas about future happiness: the subconscious processes that are happening now are strongly associated with the well-being of the family after the wedding.
4. Annoying features
Sometimes the traits that seemed to be the most attractive to you while you were dating become the most repulsive when you start living together. This happens quite often when women choose bad boys or dating introverts. At the initial stages of the relationship, the difference between your partner and the rest of the world, extreme inclinations and burning eyes fascinate delight. “She is so enthusiastic!”, “She looks so good!” Later on, the same qualities may start irritating you and result in a decrease in the level of happiness in the couple.
Explore in advance how your fiance’s hobbies can affect your long-term life together. This is an important step in identifying potential irritants.
5. Persistence in conflicts
Before the wedding, pay attention to how your conflicts and quarrels proceed: do you like to quarrel heartily or solve problems amicably. In 2016, the American psychologist Houston and colleagues conducted a study, “The Process of Adaptation in Close Relationships,” and found that any event between two people tends to repeat itself in the future. Marriage changes nothing.
It resulted in the criticism of the idea of marriage as a starting point of a new life and a newly built relationship for the couple. Those who quarreled and were ready for quarrels in the future salvaged their marriages. And conflicting couples that felt confident that they would live quietly and peacefully after the wedding – parted soon after the marriage.
All these things help to get to know each other better and teach how to get over big fights.
6. Living together
In the modern-day world, it’s common for the future bride and groom to live together before the wedding. The reasons that prompted a couple to move in together directly impact how happy they will be in their marriage.
When people live together to test the strength of their relationship or share living space for other practical reasons (including financial), they are less confident about the future with a partner and are often not 100% faithful to each other. Initial doubts about feelings continue to evolve later on when the couple decides to get married. Insecurity lowers marital satisfaction.
Couples who are initially confident in their feelings and live together for other reasons (for example, being closer or seeing each other more often) are much more stable and ready for long-term commitments.
When is it time to get married?
There is no single factor or time frame that indicates a couple’s readiness to marriage: people start dating at different ages and at different stages of life, and each year and experience matter.
Bedecidingision, assess how well you know your partner, how confident you are in your relationship with her. Consider the expectations of what will change after the wedding; predict your future in ten years.
It may turn out that the time has come to take the plunge and set the date of your wedding.