What is a sugar daddy? The sugar daddy sites phenomenon that threatens to displace love

When looking for the expression sugar daddy on the internet, words such as “Sex”, “Interest”, “Elder”, “Transaction”, among others, quickly jump out. Basically it is a type of emotional relationship in which a person usually of legal age -who enjoys economic stability and considerable resources- exchanges his money and gifts for the company and intimacy of a younger counterpart, generally attractive and athletic, which is called Sugar Baby.

Stories of blonde stunners in their 20s pairing up with octogenarian billionaires have been the talk of tabloid tabloids around the world. The “sugar daddies” (translated into Spanish) are usually anonymous characters, excluded from the glamorous profiles of their partners on social networks, but who in the end enjoy the youth and beauty of these “blessed and lucky”.

SEMANA contacted Jonathan Espíndola, a 30-year-old businessman from Bogota who defines himself as a Sugar Daddy. “One is used to the fact that if the last phone came out, then it is bought; live in an exclusive place, go to the best restaurants, be at the best parties, always in the boxes, in the VIP areas where they (the Sugar Babies) are always with us and one has the luxury of showing them off”.

“Johnny”, as he likes to be called, is a promoter of massive events; an environment where appearance plays a key role: creating the illusion of success and glamor can open doors to new business, and the company of a ‘Sugar Baby’ is seen as providing status.

“A sugar daddy looks for a girl between the ages of 18 and 25 in a sugar baby: who is harmonious, has a pretty face, a defined body, who is voluptuous, who has the attitude and willingness to “put it all out”. and be very good when he goes out with one. Have a good time”, says Johnny with a certain self-confidence. If you want to be a cyber sugar baby, check this >> Sugar daddy text only

Your expectations are high, as are the bills you have to pay when you “indulge” any of the ‘Sugar Babies’ you date; and it is that -as you may have imagined, this type of agreement does not imply exclusivity of any of the parties.

“I pamper the ‘Sugar Babies’ a lot: we are going through a store like high end stores and from one I buy their little things: their skirt, their blouses, their watch, their iPhone for example: I need them to be well, that they also look good to go out with me”, he says proudly.

Although appearances dominate this dynamic, Jonathan admits that his interest goes beyond simple accompaniment: he seeks affection, understanding, empathy, and of course, sex. For most people, this type of interaction is more typical of a relationship with a partner, mediated by love; a figure that the young businessman flatly rejects.

“I think that love no longer exists: it is very difficult for two people to meet and have the same social, cultural, etc. affinities. Sometimes it is much easier to be a sugar daddy than to look for love, ”she clarifies.

A sugar baby is not only required to give herself on the street and intimacy: she must have a malleable, flexible personality: willing to become what “her lord” longs for. “When you have a normal relationship, sometimes it is very difficult to change a person’s way of dressing, where she leaves her, her customs; On the other hand, with the Sugar Baby you can modify it in terms of its behavior (…) and it is that the behavior of the pretty ones is pretty”.

Johnny reveals his controversial conquest tactic: “Well, sometimes you’re at parties, in meetings, you change phone numbers and then you tell her “hey, I’d like to meet up.” Once this knowledge has been established, you propose to her “hey, I would like you to dress better, to be better physically, to use better makeup, to use these accessories that would look divine on you”; I tell them: “You have an exceptional face and she is missing out because you are not dressing properly.” In a certain way one transforms the person and gives him a better standard of living”.

“It is something very beautiful because you see next to what you want to see: basically it is having a doll in real life”

The only negative point that Jonathan finds in this postmodern “bond” is precisely that of the attachment or the supposed ambition of his eventual partners. “Sometimes the girls try to get in on you everywhere, they say “I want to have a child”, “marry me”, “you are the love of my life”, and it is very complicated. So the solution to that – if you don’t have the same feeling – is to try to cut”.

“Sugar” Phenomenon: Is Love for Sale?

Danilo Zambrano, a Colombian psychologist and master’s degree, views with concern the increase in publications, videos, and even tutorials on the internet in which adolescents and young adults advise having a “sugar daddy” to get those goods that their parents cannot afford and that boasting your favorite singers, artists or influencers.

“The phenomenon of the blessed can occur because there are many models: we can see personalities who have become famous on Instagram, on other social networks, where they become role models: they literally sell a life of perfection ,” explains the professional.

Professor Zambrano leads the “Social Lab”, a social laboratory at the Konrad Lorenz University of Bogotá, which analyzes phenomena of social change on the Internet, such as the transmutation of love towards these new ways of relating, mediated by money and popularity.

“There are fewer social restrictions, which makes this phenomenon much more visible: there are fewer social punishments, less social rejection, which is something that matters to human beings; If there is no social rejection, then we continue to have this behavior”.

Although the relationship between a Sugar Daddy and his Sugar Baby can be understood as an agreement (something transactional, contractual) the risk is inherent to our own nature, sensitive and fickle. “I believe that when there is a transaction in relationships established and mediated by money, people can be emotionally affected, just having casual sexual relations generates romantic, chemical love, attachment at least (…) and at least one of the people in that relationship can get hurt if they fall head over heels in love.”